#and then there’s season 4…………….

[ekaterin1701]

Data being a good friend 😊

[church-of-lilith]

​babe wake up melissa schemmenti is canonically bisexual via one throwaway line of dialogue !!!

[ham1lton]

EVERYTHING IS EMBARRASSING ?

pairings: max verstappen x podcaster!reader

faceclaim: taylor russell

summary: you run the number one podcast on spotify, agonyauntie, and your dream guest is max verstappen. too bad for you that he hates podcasts.

or the one where your podcast is max’s guilty pleasure.

author’s note: clearing out drafts.

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liked by yourbestfriend, alexandrasaintmleux and 1,837,892 others.

yourusername: after a month long hiatus, agonyauntie is back with bigger and better stories. i’m excited to share the newest episode with you on all of the available channels.

please tune in so my mom won’t regret letting me drop out of university to pursue airing people’s dirty laundry on the internet. thank you xoxo

view all comments

user1: WE WON WE WON HELLO!!!!!

user2: will you ever top mango man? i don’t think so.

-> yourusername: trust me user2. we will.

user3: the way during the hiatus the podcast was still #4 on the spotify chart is crazy.

-> user4: WE COMIN FOR THAT NUMBER ONE SPOT YUP!!!

user5: prettiest girl ever. you need a youtube channel so we can see that facecard.

-> user6: she said she prefers podcasting to making videos because she’s awkward asf 😭

-> user7: real omg

-> user8: she’s so me.

user9: who is this 😻

-> user10: yn yln! she’s the creator and host of agonyauntie, which she started back in university. it was originally a radio show in which people would email her their problems and she’d tell them advice. it went viral when she did the episode of ‘mango man’ (just google it, it’s hilarious) and then she moved to a podcast format so it was more accessible. it went to number one and she’s halfway through s2. it’s so good!!! honestly you need to listen to the episodes.

landonorris: SO EXCITED YESSSS 🤩

-> user11: always at the scene of the crime

-> user12: how many fandoms is this guy in? 🤨

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AGONYAUNT! season 2, episode 7.

[soft jazzy intro music fades out]

yn: okay, this next email is… wow. honestly, when i read it, i had to sit back, take a sip of tea, and whisper, “what the actual hell?” to myself. so naturally, i had to include it in the episode.

let me just read it for you.

[mock-serious tone as she reads aloud]

“hi yn, first off, i love the podcast. you’re literally the only person i trust to handle this because everyone else would either call me crazy or tell me to dump him, and honestly, neither of those options feel right (yet). anyway, here goes: i think my boyfriend is trying to become a bird.

i know that sounds like i’ve lost the plot, but please hear me out. it started small—like him watching a lot of bird documentaries and casually saying things like, ‘owls are the wolves of the sky’ (which i didn’t think about at the time because men say weird things constantly). but then he started doing… bird things. he whistles now. a lot. not cute whistling, yn. it’s more like he’s calling for backup.

then last week i caught him eating sunflower seeds—not out of a bag, but cracking them open with his teeth and spitting the shells on the carpet. the carpet, yn. he’s also been spending suspicious amounts of time sitting on the windowsill ‘for the breeze’ and called a pigeon his ‘mate’ the other day like they’re friends now??

but the final straw? he built a nest. like, an actual nest. i came home from work to find him on the couch surrounded by twigs, string, and what i think might’ve been my missing socks. he said it was ‘just a joke,’ but when i asked why there were eggs in it, he got all defensive and said i ‘wouldn’t understand.’

so now i don’t know what to do. do i confront him and risk him flying away (literally)? or do i just let him… become whatever he’s becoming? pls help me yn. i miss my normal boyfriend who used to just binge-watch love island and occasionally make me toast.

cheers, girl who might be dating a parrot.”

[pause for comedic effect]

yn: okay. wow. first of all, thank you for this email. genuinely, it’s given me a lot to think about. like, this man has gone full National Geographic, and you’re just… casually living with it? incredible. i’m so glad you came to me because i don’t think your friends would’ve taken this seriously enough, and frankly, neither will i, but we’ll do our best.

so. is your boyfriend trying to become a bird? honestly, yeah. sounds like he’s halfway there. whistling, befriending pigeons, eating seeds like he’s at a football match—this man is leaning in hard. and i have to say, the nest? iconic. horrifying, but iconic. he built an actual nest in your home. he didn’t just think about it; he did it. that’s commitment.

but here’s the thing: you have to ask yourself, are you okay with this? like, if you imagine your life five years from now and you’re still with him, is he going to be perched on top of the fridge, squawking about how you don’t appreciate him? or is this just a phase? because maybe it’s temporary. maybe he’s stressed, and this is his way of coping—some people journal, some people go bird-mode.

what i suggest is this: sit him down for a chat. calmly ask, “babe, are you going through something? or are you genuinely preparing to molt?” like, we need clarity here. and if he doubles down on the bird thing, you have a choice to make. either support him and start buying bulk birdseed, or set him free—preferably in a park, not near any major roads.

also, maybe keep your eye on those eggs. i don’t know where he got them, but i’d be concerned.

anyway, good luck with your pigeon-man. i wish you nothing but the best, and if it escalates, please email me again. i have to know what happens.

[transition music fades in]

yn: right, let’s move on before i spiral into a full TED talk about men and their inability to handle hobbies normally. honestly, this man saw blue planet one time and said, “that’s my personality now.” unbelievable.

[music fades out, next segment begins]

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liked by landonorris, ynsfanpage and 1,727,908 others

agonyauntie: our newest episode is out next week, here are three clues about what it will include.

(hint: the middle one is that our host will be involved. spoiler alert! 😉)

view all comments

user1: omg it’s MAX VERSTAPPEN

-> user2: who tf is that

-> user3: exactly like yn said celebrities as guests

-> user4: he’s literally famous? he’s a formula one star???

-> user3: okay congrats

-> user4: ??

-> user3: girl idk what u want me to say idgaf abt that man 😭 good for him getting the krabby patty formula one or wtvr

user5: OMG MAX AND YN…

-> user6: new ship name needed asap

-> user7: new job application needed ASAP!

user8: omg what if yn and max get together? he’s her dream guest and she seemed a little into him om the live she did watching the f1 race.

-> user9: um he’s literally gay i just googled it…

-> user10? HUH?

-> user9: his fiance is charles leclerc i just read how they met on this gossip website called ao3. very cute. it also told me more about obama’s secret lover, some guy called harry styles. you should check it out.

-> user10: u grown as hell and u can vote. the world is a scary place.

user11: AND NEXT GUEST WILL BE LANDONORRIS LETS PRAY TOGETHER 😎

-> user12: lando we know it’s you take them glasses OFF!

-> user11: 🥲 🕶🤏🥲

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author’s note: hi :) just looking for some feedback. send me an ask with what sort of fics u guys like. idk what to post. have a lot of drafts. also idk this will get a pt2. i just want it GONE! sorry <3

[weebatron9000]

[pronouncingitwang]

[ID: An anonymous ask reading, "hi! as someone whos also...... unsure about it, can i ask you for your honest opinion on severance season 2? what did you like about it? what bothered you the most? lets be haters together <3" /end ID]

can you speak on your severance s2 opinions? i promise this isnt in bad faith or anything, im just anon bc im shy lol, im genuinely curious

i'm gonna put this under a read more because it's gonna be long but...yeah [scratches head] if YOU the person reading this looooved this season and see nothing you didn't like about it, thats awesome and i'm happy for you. i also liked things in this season, and also its normal to be able to critique things you like, love and light <3 its literally just television

generally, yeah, i found myself disappointed with it. i think the writing this season, both the dialogue and then the actual character/world writing, fell flat and/or seemed like it was completely incongruous with the characters and world that we had seen in season 1. i think something i really appreciated about season 1 is that yes, mark was our main character and the lens we got introduced to both the inside and outside world, but both felt so much BIGGER than just him.

season 2, the entire plot and world and characters bend and contort to make mark like, the center of the universe lol. it's kind of ridiculous, the extent to which the world revolves around him now. it makes the world feel SOOO small. parts of my favorite worldbuilding aspects are seeing how the outside world feels about severance--i think the part where we see how working as a severed employee makes it almost impossible to work anywhere else is great! and in concept i like seeing other towns that have been devastated by lumon's industrialization, though i don't love the execution that we got. so like...everything lumon does is about mark? ALL of it? i know we don't know exactly how long lumon has been operating but like...they've been working on this stuff for longer than two years, lol. like, how many files have dylan completed? irving? petey? that girlie who wrote the lexington letter? is all of their work literally meaningless? like i get that there were people before gemma who failed the tests and they died, sure, but what about when mark started working there? what about the files that irving started and didn't finish, why don't they care about those? ohhhh right, because that's not the one that mark's working on. i get that it'd be a big deal if they got it to work fully once, but surely they'd want to make it work AGAIN, right??? like a science experiment?? i just wish we got like, A nod to other people on the testing floor, because i think the implication is that all of them are working on files connected to…different people, but maybe they're all just different versions of gemma?

honestly all of the innie stuff this season just felt so…idk, aimless? it feels like parts of the building only exist when the writers want them to, and just generally are not interested in exploring anything outside of the romantic aspects for all of these characters. like sure, after the season 1 finale, their asses are not gonna wanna work (EXCEPT FOR WHEN THEY DO? TO MOVE THE PLOT ALONG?), but where's the camaraderie? what about all those other people in O&D, they literally export things to the testing floor, maybe they know about gemma? fundamentally i think the thing that's the most frustrating about innie mark is that they keep telling us that he doesn't care about gemma. which, sure, outie gemma, he doesn't have that same connection with as helly, whatever. but also, he DOES care about her, he literally knows that that's ms casey and that lumon was just going to do what they always do when they fire people????? like s1 mark cared soooo much about his coworkers, ALL OF THEM, even the ones that weren't there anymore—seeing petey and then ms casey get removed was like, a HUGE deal and vital to his growth as a character!!!! and the way that they constructed this whole season basically to remove everyone that isn't mark and helly by the end. lol. i'm honestly shocked that they didn't make a new version of the desk that was just two chairs, like dylan was just excluded from the finale except for when they needed him to come in and hold the door against mr. milchick. again. lol

i don't inherently have a problem with exploring the romantic stuff, i think that could have been done well, but i just don't think it was. and that's primarily because, i think the writing this season for helly was ass! they took away her agency and subjugated her to be just the love interest for mark! especially with the finale, i just feel like the helly i know would've been like mark, what are you doing??? go?!? like she wants to take down lumon, THAT's what will take down lumon! like whatever, mark made the choice that he did, but helly playing along with it makes no fucking senseee. like they want us to think that it's the same ol helly we know and love, they give us crumbs of her anger, like when she's rallying the marching band people or whatever, but again, only when it's plot convenient. WHY WOULD SHE NOT ATTACK JAME? he's like 90???? and helly doesn't like this man???? she has nothing to lose???? fucking THROW something at him helly!!!! the helly that tried to chop her fingers off and hang herself and gave that speech in the s1 finale is not in the room with us. and i don't mean this in a way where i think it's helena again, it's not. they've just completely fumbled her character because they want mark and helly to be together at all costs. and honestly, i think it's so reductive to make this show just about ships, but textually it feels like that's what they want us to do, and i think that's sad. again, it makes the show feel so SMALL, when the world within it used to feel so BIG and like we would want to learn more about it. i care about mark and helly--before they kissed!! i think it was rewarding to see the ways they challenged each other and grew as people!! them as a romantic thing could work but they haven't put in the work to MAKE it work. and, it feels like of redundant even to say, but i do think it's fucking ridiculous to write a story where we get kissing and fucking for allllll the straight characters and then the one gay couple doesn't even get a kiss before separating them completely and writing irving out of the show, basically. like what are we in, hayes code era television?

but yeah, the information they chose to reveal vs what they didn't was also frustrating. i honestly wish they revealed less! there's so much TELLING this season. it feels like they think we're stupid (which, i can't speak for the entire population watching the show, maybe some people literally do need mark to look at the camera and explain everything, idk). like there's sooo much clever storytelling in the first season that just, completely gets snuffed out from overexplaining. i understand in the finale that oMark needs to tell iMark about why he did all of this but like, WE as the audience already know??? we don't need to see this?? and cobel confirming stuff i feel like we already knew about how the numbers work and like, i just don't knowwww. like you can just show me it, i was picking up on it. like we know about the four tempers, you show it to us all the time, cobel having to look dead in the camera and explain it just made me feel like there was a better way we could've done this. i do think some stuff benefits from a "hard" confirmation. like i'm glad they confirmed the helena thing, BECAUSE it backs up and supports all of the lovely and subtle things they had already shown to prove that it WAS helena! like i've known since the first episode LOL, so they do KNOW how to do subtle storytelling. and i think the gemma episode was great, i loved seeing her as a character and thought it gave her so much depth. but again, i think allll of the explaining they do this season not only snuffs out the fun of speculating on the viewing end, but from a writing perspective it just kind of writes them into a corner. i think they're focused too much on making these elaborate set pieces and events take place without thinking of how they fit together, not only on like a writing/episodic level but just the world of lumon at large.

i think a great way they showed story in the first season is through the paintings, and through irving and burt bonding over the paintings! like it not only establishes the lore of kier and then we get to learn more about them as characters through their reactions to the paintings. the paintings this season, honestly, were weak, they were so heavy handed. love and light to whoever painted them, but they were nottt doing the job for me.

(this is a small thing, but like…the intake questionnaire asks them to "name a US state or territory," so they KNOW that delaware is a state. so why would they think the equator is a building? again its just like. a cutesy moment for mark and helly to banter but they could've done it in a way that isn't contradictory to like, our understanding of what information crosses over the sever and what does not).

i keep thinking about the ORTBO, and it just seems fucking CRAZY to me that they aren't freaking out about SEEING THE SKY? BREATHING FRESH AIR? FEELING FIRE? SLEEPING?? WASN'T THE WHOLE THING THAT THEY COULDN'T FALL ASLEEP???? i guess my impression of how the chip works is that the technology doesn't know how to handle when they enter a subconscious/asleeep state, so the innie and outie memories begin to bleed together, hence why dozing would be a bad thing on the job. but again, they clearly had this idea of how they wanted irving to reveal that it's helena in the waterfall, and yes, i did enjoy the spectacle of the episode, but its another example of how they'll build these moments and only focus on what they want to see. like there's so much interesting stuff that they could explore and just choose not to, because (usually) it doesn't involve mark, or mark and helly.

also, i'm just gonna say it, i feel like the writing for the women this season all was kinda bad! it's, again, a byproduct of the world revolving around mark now. reghabi is brought into the story when mark needs her, and cast aside when he doesn't want her anymore. devon has been completely reduced to mark's lackey, like i guess ricken and the baby are fucking fine or whatever??? because she only exists when mark is around, and her only job is caring about mark (which obviously yes, they're siblings, of course they care—but s1 devon had a life outside of mark as well). cobel is only brought back into the story to explain to mark how cold harbor works. i said this before but honestly i like the concept of her little solo episode, though the execution wasn't great, because at least she was doing something on her own (except for when she needs that guy to help her. heaven forbid a woman does something of her own accord without a man to help). and again, helly is completely flanderized to be mark's love interest. i think there's a way to have mark and helly be together and them be their own people, but for the length of the season they did not have the proper time to unpack all the shit from the ORTBO episode so everyone just…conveniently gets over it very quickly, like in the span of a day. like i do think it's a jump to go from "i don't trust you, are you even you?" to missionary under plastic tarps that quickly, i'm sorry. and i think even gemma suffers from this fate as well. i think with hers it makes more sense, like she fucking loves her husband, but i wish she was given opportunities to like…want things for herself, too. like she hasn't been outside in two years! i bet she misses her job, her students, her family, devon, ricken, like anyone outside of mark? but she has to be the tragic love interest that can't be with mark but can't run away from mark, either. she's reduced to set dressing for mark and helly by the end.

they constructed this season i think, with the hopes and knowledge that they'll likely get a season 3. which yes, we know now that it's been confirmed and approved or whatever, but they didn't know that when making season 2, and it feels like no one got a full character arc. it's all start and no follow through. we've had the same "mr. milchick experiences racism in the workplace" moment like what, five, six times, and yet we haven't even started to see him DO something about it yet? like sure he told mr. drummond to eat shit, but then to play along with the minstrel show cold harbor shit, they just didn't care about giving that plot line any action so it'll just get brushed along to season 3. (and while there's intentional commentary about race in the show, it also feels like there's unintentional consequences to their writing choices that upholds the whiteness. like, natalie is just forgotten about, reghabi is dropped as soon as mark doesn't want to play with her anymore, ms. huang barely gets to do anything before being written off and sent away, and yes, i do think having gemma suffer as mark and helly skip away is part of it. it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, sorry!). i think dylan is maybe the closest we get to an interesting arc, and i enjoy the inclusion of his wife, but even he's reduced to JUST this story, only getting to talk to mark or helly when the writers need him to, i guess. and the stuff with burt and fields is so nothing, like it feels like it should be going somewhere but they're just leaving it open for season 3 (i guess??? even though it seems like irving isn't going to be in it at all, so why would we be following burt and fields??? and also don't even get me started on how the outie irving stuff is just NOT EXPLORED AT ALL. like whatever sure who the hell cares, sorry for wanting to see that go somewhere or whatever).

it's too early for full reintegration to happen so, we'll just finish that in season 3. (then why introduce it so early in season 2? ohhh right, we need cliffhangers to end every episode on). it almost feels like they don't have faith that people will keep watching without introducing these dramatic moments, but it's all just gasps of breath, there's no actual momentum. like, i've already watched the first season, you don't need to bait me with the prospect of seeing meaningful progression and then take it away from me when the next episode starts. the structure of how episodes speak to each other is that they…don't? like obviously i don't need every episode to pick up on the exact moment the last left off, but the timeline of this season is just soooo strange. the first two episodes are in the same span of time, and then there's gemma and cobel's episodes back to back…it genuinely just feels like they didn't consider the season as a whole which, considering how much money and time it took to make it happen, makes no sense.

and to continue on the timeline aspect, it feels so confusing as to how much time has really passed. it feels like the wanted the structure of the first season, but the pacing mechanic of the first season (working up to the end of the quarter to get to the waffle party) makes the pacing of the second feel even worse. like a.) mark's completed like 3 files a quarter (if we assume he's worked there for 8 quarters, i.e. two years), so making THIS file the super special final one truncates the possible time by at least a third.but then also, b.) he's been at like 95% complete since like, episode 5..? again, i just think it should've been considered more during the planning stages. and it kind of boggles my mind that the creative team views the marching band in this finale to be analogous to the waffle party in s1 when, it's way closer to the music dance experience? (they said this in the like behind the scenes for the finale ep). and in that regard, it really does kind of feel like a retread that doesn't work as well because, again, it's all about mark! especially after the shit with the kier statue, why would mr. milchick play along with the song and dance, like it just feels like they wanted to use tramell tillman's dance experience again, and they wanted to use the colored lights again. he could've just stood by the door to make sure mark and helly stayed there, which was obviously the goal of having all those people there. and yeah, i get the work is mysterious and important or whatever, but the implication that they have ALL OF THESE PEOPLE whos sole job is to be a marching band makes no fucking sense, i'm sorry. i find it hard to play along with the worldbuilding, again it makes lumon seem like its run by like dr. doofenshmirtz or something, it's so cartoony. like are they a global and successful company, or are they incompetent and leave gaping holes for their employees to undo everything? this is THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY IN LUMON HISTORY and they couldn't…shut the door to MDR like they had before? the goat sacrifice room is directly outside the exports hall door? the music dance experience works so well as a catharsis moment because everyone has their own shit going on, and we get to see the guy who hasn't really disobeyed yet (dylan) finally snap, and we see the others come and support him as a TEAM. it's just spectacle for us, the viewer. and especially the thing where they make the panels with mark's face on it—HE CAN'T SEE IT???? i don't need fan service winking moments like that, i dunno, that just annoyed me lol.

anyway, i feel like i have more to say probably but i gotta go do things so, i'm gonna leave it here. in conclusion, i'm missing my friends from s1 MDR sooo so bad, i feel like i haven't seen them this season at all. i did like parts of this season, but overall it was not what i was hoping it would be. (i don't even really KNOW what i wanted it to be, and of course it doesn't matter what i "want," but i feel like what i "want" lined up with what they wanted to do explore with season 1 so…maybe that's where the dissonance is coming from). and whereas at the end of s1, where i left it being like "where are they going to go from here?? (as in, theres so many possibilities", this season finale has left me asking "…where are we gonna go from here?" because i'm left like, inherently incurious about the people we have left and the choices they've made. and, i feel like THEY (as in the executive team making it) must feel this way too, because apparently they've completely scrapped the writers room from this season and added on two new showrunners. good luck to whoever that executive story editor is LOL

[jjmayhem]

Enemies-With-Benefits (MDNI)

Pairing: Rafe Cameron & Fem!Reader

Genre: smut

Synopsis: You can’t stand Rafe but that doesn’t stop the heat from happening. After all, there’s a thin line between love and hate, huh?

CW: piv (from behind), unprotected, rough, teasing, some erotic asphyxiation, dirty talk, creampie

“I really, ahh, can’t stand you…” That sentence came out of your mouth, with a heavy strained breath and moan.

Rafe Cameron grunted, pounding his cock deeper as he fucked into you hard. His voice sounding smug and pleased, “Yeah? That’s why your cunt is wrapping around me so tightly right now.”

“Because. You. Can’t. Stand. Me.” Every word got punctuated with a sharp thrust that made you groan and shudder, your hands gripping the edge of the table that he had you bent over while he fucked you from behind.

“I c—can’t, you damn—“ You couldn’t even finish spitting out those words because he suddenly pulled all the way out. The tip of his dick still against your dripping folds, teasing.

You missed it instantly. He knew and you knew because you whipped your head around, pants escaping loudly. Your eyes told Rafe more than your mouth ever could. He wore a smirk, eyeing you.

“What, babydoll? Wanna finish that sentence?” His tone was amused, taunting you. Especially with that damn pet-name; it wasn’t meant to be sweet, no. It was meant to be derogatory, he loved pushing your buttons.

After all, you and Rafe Cameron were enemies; couldn’t stand each other. You two had been at each other’s throats for years until all that fighting suddenly turned into you two fucking like cavemen on primal instinct only. It had been a hazy, mind-numbing blur on how it started, several months back. One thing led to another and then there you both were, having hatesex with each other and probably the best sex ever that would make way for more of these illicit encounters. Not that either of you would ever admit that. There was no way that you or him would admit the obvious attraction you had because why else would you two keep doing this? Why did everyone else fade in the background when you two saw each other? Why did Rafe love seeing you so worked up and why did you give him the attention?

There was never any kissing or gentleness—the sex mirrored the fights you two would have, it was always rough. However, he wasn’t having it today. While he was absolutely hellbent on frustrating you because he loved how angry you’d get, something else stirred in him right now.

Something different.

Was it the way you were staring right now? Still pissy with stubbornness yet that scarlet flush had painted on your face a little? That look in your eyes that didn’t go unnoticed by him. The way your pupils were dilating a bit, told him everything he needed to know. He did spit out the pet-name ‘babydoll’, intending it to piss you off more. Having your enemy call you something sweet with sarcasm but now, the energy was charged with something else.

Maybe it was also the way your dripping folds was leaking on his swollen tip that remained still and near, his cock throbbing more.

He licked his bottom lip then leaned over, close to your face; you blinked, panting harshly.

“You really hate me, princess?” His voice was husky-sounding, the desire in it obvious.

“Yes,” You forced out too quickly but your pupils dilated more and something in him snapped at that, he crashed his lips against yours while plunging his cock right back into your soaked velvet walls—the tight heat engulfing him and he groaned loudly against your lips.

Setting back his relentlessly fast pace as he pounded into you while your lips trembled against his—you hadn’t expected the kiss. Now it felt intimate; kissing your enemy while he fucked into you, every veiny line of his cock rubbing against your hot walls. His balls hitting against your skin, making obscene sounds of flesh smacking echo in the room.

“So much hate huh,” He practically growled against your lips then you two separated abruptly as your head went forward to lean on the table. You wanted his lips back on yours but that realization hit you like a ton of bricks and lucky for him, it also made your slick pussy clench around him with flutters. He practically rolled his eyes back at the feeling, getting more encouraged now to have his hips piston faster—his cock plunging in and out of your grasping cunt with increasing fervor.

“Fuuuuuck, hate me so much,” He grunted with a harder thrust, “So much that you keep gripping my cock like that.”

Your hands gripping the edge of the table tighter and tighter, the moans you wished to control because they started getting louder. It all just made him want you even more; made him enjoy of single second of this intense session. His grip on your hips became bruising and the table was creaking, moving up with every single pump of his long cock.

“That’s it. Keep telling yourself you hate me if it keeps your pussy feeling like a damn vice.”

When it hit a fever pitch of lust—he did something you always liked, choking. He would carefully wrap his hand around your neck, lifting you up so you were both in standing position while he continued his slamming, stroking your insides. Your back started to arch against his chest as he started putting light & firm pressure on your neck. Your eyes going to the ceiling but closing as your mouth hung open in ecstacy—the pleasure was overwhelming. This was the one time you couldn’t get sassy with him anymore plus he knew how much you liked it. He knew everything you liked, had your body and reactions memorized by now.

Your brain starts buzzing from the slight cut off of the air, making you want to come almost. He put some more pressure on your throat as you let out some choked out moans. He let his other hand find your clit, pressing hard and rubbing circular motions. And this position had allowed his dick to hit even more deeply, rubbing at your g-spot. Your body started shuddering against his.

“Like that, huh? How my hand is wrapped around you while my dick impales you?” He bit his lip after, trying to bite back a low guttural groan because of how good you felt too.

“You’re so filthy, letting me do this to you.”

When he got rougher (if possible), you almost thought you’d feel him in your throat too—but then he applied more pressure to your neck, your legs started shaking and you let out a strangled moan. It was amazing how you held back on finishing right then and thetr. He knew when to let up which was now, he slowly released—thumb barely stroking the skin. He never did that before but you were seeing stars for a moment to realize.

You planted back to the table on your front, breasts sliding against it as he let out a low, rough noise of pleasure.

Rafe felt his balls drawing up tight as his climax built up—usually, he never came inside but this time, it was all different. Suddenly, he found himself having this inexplicable urge to claim you in the fullest way possible. So you could be entirely his already.

He knew it was more than hate; he wasn’t dumb. He didn’t crave anyone as much as he craved you. There was no comparing the intensity and raw emotions you could make him feel. Not just during the sex but the fights and more.

His pace grew sloppy, messy but stayed at that hardcore speed—his cock was begging for release, starting to twitch, “not pulling out.”

He groaned again, holding onto you like you’d disappear.

That turned you on and it pissed you off, your stubborn ways setting in despite the fact that you wanted him to stay inside.

“Wha—you’re not coming inside!” You strained out, voice still a bit rough from the choking.

But then you felt it; a hotness start to flood your walls and it felt too damn amazing. You instantly let out a breathless, shattered gasp as your eyes fluttered. Among that gasp was a soft, four-lettered word too. Your mouth staying opening as you felt Rafe’s cum fill you up and so much of it. Ropes of it, painting those walls of yours. A very crimson & deep blush was forming on your face as you realized he’s coming so much… because of you.

You hated to admit it. That you enjoyed every moment of it. You also came as soon as you felt him emptying inside—your body had tensed and squirmed in orgasmic bliss.

“I just did, babe.” He panted as the last spurts pumped into you—he collapsed onto your back, not pulling out yet.

“F—fuck… y—” You barely breathed out before he cut you off; both of you were a mix of satisfied and exhausted. He felt so warm resting on top of you—his cheek managed to rest on yours as your heads were turned to the sides.

“Just did that too,” He let out a humorless chuckle but laced with pride. You hated cocky men but when it was him doing it? You almost felt your feminism want to leave your soul.

You couldn’t find the words but he felt it, how hot your cheek was against his. He also felt how you came when he did—he had even heard that exquisite, breathless gasp of a moan you let out. The way you just suddenly took it. His heart was pounding in his chest but he slowly lifted off of you then reached down, grabbing your chin, asking you to get up too and look at him.

When you did, he had a small smirk forming back, “Why do you look like that?”

He pulled out of you now, cum spilling out slowly—dribbling down your thighs as he suddenly looked there. Swallowing his own saliva because he swore, his cock was about to get hard again if he kept staring. He focused back to your face quickly. You had noticed this all but ignored it as it only made you feel weaker.

“Like what…?” You whispered, your heart pounding too and despite your attempt of a glare, you looked soft right now and as vibrant as a painting. He never saw you blush that much and look even more of a hot but beautiful mess.

“Like that was the best experience of your life—better than our other times and…” He leaned his face close to you and you found yourself holding your breath.

“Like it meant something to you.” His smirk stayed but his eyes were softening up. It was almost as if, he was asking if it did. Maybe he wanted to. So badly but he seemed to be leaving it up to you.

There was a fear. For both of you—this was uncharted territory. Having feelings for the enemy? Feelings for the man who drove you nuts but you do the same to him? Feelings that were probably there before you started being sexual with him?

“And I heard it. The way you let out my name when I came inside.”

Your heart was going into overtime in your chest—so you did what you do best; deny, deny, deny. Continue dancing around the flames of passion; driving each other too much up the wall.

It was something he would do as well though, try to act unbothered other times, like you weren’t the center of his focus always—how long can you two keep playing this game?

At least he loved your stubbornness. That fine line between hate and love ran deep for you both.

[miwiromantics]

FINN MICHAEL WOLFHARD, YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT!!! They’re coming for u man

[babytakeittothehead]

Melissa ‘mostly straight’ Schemmenti at Abbott Elementary s4e19: Music Class

taglist: @morgana-larkin @winters-witch24 @milfjuulpod

[redge]

I am not saying that I ship this pairing but I could say that this pairing actually occured in my mind. I can vividly remember while I was rewatching S1 to S3 how I posted on Twitter that it would be interesting to see Five and Lila end up together and that was even before seeing Season 4.

Second, I am part of the fandom that is very much accepting of this storyline (and Season 4 in general). A lot of things happened 6 years post-Oblivion. So obviously, things will also happen in this 6 years, and Five and Lila happened. Did it happen instantly? Hell no. Those feelings did not happen over night. It took them years.

Do I hate Five for crossing that line? No. Because even when he did, resigned and just threw in the towel knowing he'll never get what he wanted, and actually has a way out, chose to return to his siblings and be erased from history with them.

Do I hate this season and want it to be erased from The Umbrella Academy? No. Because when you watch the whole series from Season 1 to Season 4, them not existing was a logical ending. It's like that scene from Avengers: Infinity War where Doctor Strange was looking for all the possible futures, 14,000,605 outcomes and they win in 1 at a cost of someone's life. What did Booth Five tell Five? That they tried to save the world 145,412 times only to fail every single time and come to the conclusion that they should cease to exist to return to the original timeline.

Do I find it rushed? Just because I wanted to see more of these siblings, I'd say yes. But story-wise, I think it was enough.

Not even season 4 or this storyline can make me hate Five. He will always be my numero uno.

SIX YEARS

[schemmentigfs]

🚨 abbott elementary season 4 spoilers? 🚨

ms. schemmenti loves the best of both worlds. and we couldn’t be happier.

[darlingstarkey]

think later - pt 25

series masterlist

summary - y/n, formerly a pogue princess, finally had her big breakthrough and got signed to a record label in LA. little did she, her boyfriend rafe cameron and the rest of her friends know how things would really change as soon as she becomes famous.

anything in dark mode is rafe's phone!

authors note: one more part after this! enjoy :)

warnings: swearing, escalation to an argument, third person pov

-

the joint fizzled between rafe's large fingers as he sat on the dock with his feet dangling off of the edge. a sixer half empty with cans sitting around him as he drunkenly thought of you. 'what is she doing right now?' 'is she sleeping? is she on the next plane to sweden?' 'what if she already forgot about me? moved on to the next gu-'

rafe's thoughts were suddenly halted as his head snapped to see a familiar figure behind him.

jj.

"the fuck you doing here, pogue?" rafe said deeply as he finished the last swig of his beer and took a hit of the joint.

"doing you a favor. sarah told me you'd be here." jj explained as he sat down next to rafe, daringly plucking the joint from his fingers and taking a drag himself. "as much as i fucking hate your guts, i love y/n. sarah told me that your dad needed business done overseas for the summer. in perfect alignment with her schedule, in the same cities. if that isn't fuckin' fate man.. i don't know what is.. but what i do know is that you going to europe with her will make her the happiest person in the world." jj went on.

rafe chuckled and shook his head. "nah man, you don't get it. she's way better off without me. she's living her life. it doesn't matter what my dad wants me to do out there, i just can't get in her way of her living her dreams. we broke up for a reason." rafe sighed as he cracked open another can. he passed jj the last beer that he had, a signage of appreciation for his words, but rafe wouldn't let down.

with the crack of the tab, beer splattered across jj's calloused fingers. "yeah, and that reason is because you were a fucking idiot and nothing more." jj shook his head and took a large swig. "you are the luckiest man in the world, because no matter what you do, she will always be in love with you." he said looking out into the water.

"although you may be lucky, you're also a dumbass. you don't realize that she has a million people screaming her name, but she will only respond if you're the one calling her." jj looked over at rafe and made intense eye contact with him.

rafe was statued, dumbfounded by jj's words. "i-" rafe stuttered.

"don't, dude. there's nothing to rebuttal with. just go. i promise you, it will be worth it. meet her in london, she'll be there in a month. gives you more than enough time to get your shit figured out and get her back. and do not fucking let her go." jj said, plucking the butt joint into the water in front of him and standing up. he dusted off the ash from his pants and turned to walk away.

"don't fuck this up cameron." jj said as he left rafe speechless.

-

one. last. part. after. this.

taglist: @madkohi, @yesshewrites1, @grapejuice32, @leotapes , @givemylovetoall, @inlovewrafe, @bee-43, @larvalerius, @masongetinmybed, @the-oracle-at-delphinitely-not, @mystargirl-interlude, @eddxemxnson, @sqfewrd, @pogueprincesa, @frankoceanluvr11, @raeven-marie43, @marleymarleymarleymarley, @mindfulmesses, @akobx, @spenceatiny18, @fluoxetinys, @lolxdswag123, @st8rkey, @ethanthequeefqueen, @drewrry, @jjmaybankmylovee, @disaster-rose, @sunshinedaisy21, @chillgal135, @amterasuu, @wtfisastiles, @sassyvillaintrophy, @bananaminn, @barnesboo1967, @pi4st81, @stvrkeysgal, @yktayy9669, @yesterdaysproblemm, @rafesbuzzcutseason, @dylsdaily, @jjasmiineee, @imjustagirl713, @voidangxls, @cokewithcameron, @mymadokamagica, @icaqttt, @countryclubwhore

[casiesfandomblog]

They’re right and they should say it

By the way, this is what Five Hargreeves looks like when he's around his siblings (who he fought to protect for decades)

LOOK HOW FUCKING SOFT HE IS WHEN HE'S AROUND THEM. and you want me to believe that this man would do something like that to Diego??? His brother??? No way.

[mysticbby2009]

rivals and revisions (part 1) a rafe cameron series

(masterlist) You were already on edge the moment you stepped back onto campus. 2 weeks of absolute hell at home, dealing with shit that you didn’t even want to unpack yet, and now you were back—walking into your economics lecture, completely unprepared for whatever the fuck happened while you were gone.

The classroom was packed, and the second you stepped in, you felt it—eyes darting to you, whispered murmurs. People always looked at you, but today, it was different.

Something was off.

You slid into your usual seat, rubbing your temple, and turned to the girl next to you. "Hey, can I borrow your notes from last week?"

She winced. "Um…"

"What?"

She hesitated. "Nobody really took notes."*

Your head snapped toward her. "What?"

"We kind of just—" She waved vaguely. "You know, usually you take them, and then we just ask you?"

You stared at her. "You’re kidding."*

She wasn’t.

And that was when he spoke up.

"Oh, look who’s back."*

You already knew that voice. Rafe Cameron.

You turned your head slowly to where he was sprawled in his seat a few rows away, smirking like he lived for this moment. "You missed a lot, nerd."*

You exhaled sharply, shaking your head. "Okay. Fine. I’ll just—" You opened your laptop. "—get the lecture slides—"

"No slides."*

You froze. "What do you mean, ‘no slides’?"

Rafe grinned. "Professor said this was the most important chapter of the year, so no slides. No recordings, either."*

You blinked. "You're telling me that I missed the most important chapter of the year, nobody took notes, there’s no slides, and no recordings?"

"Yup."*

"What the fuck is wrong with all of you?" You hissed, your exhaustion catching up with you. "What, you all just sat here, raw-dogging this shit like it was a TED Talk?"

Rafe laughed. "Raw-dogging economics is crazy."*

You glared at him. "Do you have notes, Cameron?"

"Obviously."* He leaned back in his chair, stretching. "But why would I share them?"

You clenched your jaw. "Because I would do it for you."*

His smirk faltered for just a second.

You shook your head. "Forget it. I’ll figure it out myself."*

You pulled out a textbook, ignoring how your hands were shaking. The stress of home, the exhaustion, the realization that you were already behind—it was too much.

Then—

A stack of papers landed on your desk.

You looked up, confused, as Rafe shoved his notes toward you, looking… weirdly tense. "Don’t say I never did anything for you."*

You stared at him. "What’s the catch?"

"Nothing."*

"Rafe."*

He sighed, rubbing his jaw. "You look like you’re about to have a breakdown, and I’d rather win because I’m better, not because you got screwed over."*

You didn’t even have the energy to fight him on it. You just exhaled, grabbed the notes, and muttered, "Thanks, I guess."*

"Don’t mention it."* He hesitated, then added, "Seriously. Like, to anyone. Ever."

[cooloperalawyerskeleton]

Finally drew MK!!!! Gosh do I love the boy, I hope I did him justice

[theartofangirling]

me when I'm not watching black sails: I should be watching black sails

me when I'm watching black sails: oof -1 ouch -1 ouch -1 ough -1 yowch -1 my heart -1 owww -1 ouchie -1